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America’s Next Top Model Recap: Prostitutes in an Amsterdam Window!

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ANTM recapper, Jenny, may be trying to get out of recapping this horrific season of America’s Next Top Model, but she’s under contract until the end of the year. Nice try. Here’s what went down last night when the skanks were in Amsterdam:
  • Time to settle in for another award winning episode of ANTM. That reminds me…hey IBBB, I think it’s time for a raise. This 6 cents an hour crap is for the birds. Scratch that…even the birds would tell you to piss off.
  • The girls are greeted by Daphne Deckers, host of ANTM Amsterdam. Everyone curtsey to the queen.
  • The girls have to find their own house…whoever gets there first gets 50 extra frames. This is a total rip off of the Amazing Race. Tyra you can copy that show all you want…you ain’t gettin’ an Emmy.
  • Side note, my “r” key isn’t working correctly and I have to slam it to get an “r” to come out on the screen….further pissing me off.
  • Elina and Sam arrive at the house first, winning the challenge.
  • How clever, Tyra now puts her Tyra Mail in a pair of Dutch shoes. Too predictable…I think it would have been better if she pinned it to some chick’s ass cheeks in the Red Light District. Or maybe when they are done reading it, they could roll it up into a joint. Smoke ’em if you got ’em.
  • Challenge number 2 has the girls posing in a window in the Red Light District…Red Light Fashion Amsterdam. Winner of this one gets to attend the International Fashion Week…courtesy of the city of Amsterdam. I say the winner of this one gets pimped out (by Tyra) for the remainder of their stay in Amsterdam. Sam and McKey win this one.
  • Meanwhile back at the whorehouse, the girls get into an argument regarding prostitution and whether or not it should be respected. I can’t get past the fact that when the girls do their commentary, they are sitting in front of a Windmill blue screen.
  • This week’s photo shoot is on a ship. I can’t believe none of these girls shouted “I’m the king of the world!” I would have bet 6 pesos on that.
  • It’s panel time, and one girl will be packing up her bongs and heading back to the good old U.S. of A….
  • Elina and Sheena are in the bottom two. So who stays? The girl who loves Europe and legalized prostitution? Or the girl who said she doesn’t have breast implants, but said she does have breast implants?
  • Elina gets to stay and the other girls look like they want to kill themselves. The truth is, I really want to kill myself as there are 3 more weeks of this. See you when I see you.