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America’s Next Top Model: Tyra Mail

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America’s Next Top Model is back and as promised months ago. ImBringingBloggingBack would have a guest writer for this season of ANTM (as the kids are calling it). Check out Jenny’s hilarious take on last nights season premiere.

Ah yes…America’s Next Top Model; Cycle 8 has started! Before settling into watch the show, I checked out the the official website for Cycle 8. The site features a preview of the show, as well as model bios. It seems that the model bios consist of: Occupation, Hometown and Age…HOWEVER, Tyra’s bio is a riveting 11 paragraphs. Sweet! Anyhoo, here are a few observations:

  • The 2 “Jays” coming rolling onto the scene in a military vehicle, and tell the girls they are not “ready” to meet Tyra. They need to go through model bootcamp first. The girls wear high heel army boots for this. I wonder what the soldiers defending our freedom in Iraq would think of this. I am embarrassed.
  • Tyra later “steps” her way onto the scene. Well, they said it was stepping. But she could have been having a seizure. I wonder why nobody tries to help her or call 911. One girl is so moved by the sight of Tyra that she starts crying. At this point, I am crying too…but I’m crying because I’m scared.
  • Tyra is so witty. She makes hilarious military references like “Be a topgun, not a son of a gun” and “Be all you can be, not bitch all you can bitch” I wonder if Tyra knows people are watching her, because she acts like she is alone in her bedroom. When she uses these clever catch phrases, I am pissed that she doesn’t say “kiss my fat ass!”
  • When they introduce the girl that is into dentistry, I think this is great and hope she can help the other chick who shows Tyra how she is missing a tooth. Pretty convenient.
  • When they introduce the 18 year old chick from Russia who married a 40 year old man from the US…I think “good for her!” Well, not really…I am actually disgusted, but I can tell she is crazier than a shit house rat and hope she lasts at least a few more episodes.
  • Throughout the episode, I wonder if Jael is drunk, or high, or both...I have a feeling I might see her on an episode of Intervention on A&E once ANTM is over.
  • I love how this season, Tyra puts pictures of herself in the LIMO. This way, the girls can admire her on the WAY to the house, where there is…you guessed it….more pictures of Tyra! Tyra. Tyra.
  • In typical fashion, the girls do a photo shoot…I blank out during this, because one girl has such big, red hair that I start to think about the Bozo the Clown show…and how I always wanted to be on that show when I was a kid. How did you get to be in the audience for that show anyway?
  • Blah blah blah, Tyra offers some words to live by and Bozo gets the axe. I am pissed that I can’t get those two hours of my life back. Eh, who the hell am I kidding, I can’t wait for the makeover episode!