Harriet Carter Product of the Week: Sleeve Garters

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Oh and all of a sudden you’re the Queen of England when it’s time to wash the dishes?  Well excuse me, Your Royal Highness, whilst I genuflect as you scrub caked on carcass off your meatloaf pan.  Introducing “Garter Sleeves.”  Garter Sleeves: Because only animals allow wet cuffs.  So the next time you’re washing Fluffy in the bathtub and really working the mud out of her hoo-ha and you’re wearing your best 1988 Blanche Deveraux blue silk blouse just slap on these “attractive pearl-like beads strung on elastic” so that you look like you’ve just walked off the runway and into your mold-infested bathroom.  Don’t be surprised if you hear your kids asking, “Mommy…I mean “Your Highness” have we won the lottery?”  And your husband questioning, “Honey, did your boyfriend buy you that for Christmas?” Your answers to these questions would, of course be, “I’m not your real Mother” and “No, honey, my girlfriend bought these for me.  Jealous?”

I’m not sure why you even need these pearl-like sleeve pusher-upers, as most real women wash their dishes topless.  I’m talking boobs to the wind.  Just be care not to let your money makers get too close to the garbage disposal or you’re going to need more than sleeve garters to get you out of this jam.  Thanks, Harriet, for making dishes washing not only sexist but stylish too!

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