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Harriet Carter Wednesday: The Stalker

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First off, Happy Harriet Carter Wednesday. Second, this weeks Harriet Carter post will be a bit different. Why you ask? Because I’ve officially found out exactly who “failure model chick” is. Now if you are new here today, don’t even bother reading this. If you are one of the many die-hard Harriet Carter Wednesday readers you are probably rejoicing over the uncovering of “failure model chick.” Don’t ask me how I found her. I just did. To my surprise her name isn’t technically “failure model chick.” It’s actually Rachael Platt. Boring. Regardless I’m going to continue calling her “failure model chick.” Also, she’s technically isn’t a failure as a model because “failure model chick” has the following accomplishments under her belt:

  • A finalist for the prestigious Ms. Trump Taj Mahal (The Apprentice on NBC)
  • Jersey Style Magazine covergirl (breezy, yet easy)
  • Longhorn Tobacco Calendar Girl (Mmm smokey and cancerous)
  • Sweetheart Gowns Bridal Magazine
  • And, of course, the Harriet Carter Catalog

At least this finally explains why I haven’t been able to break into the Harriet Carter modeling industry. I’m just a simple dude from a blog. I’ve never been on a New Jersey magazine cover and have never been a finalist for anything.

I love how “failure model chick” is all kind and sweet modeling a hat or leopard caftan in the Harriet Carter Crapalog, but get her in another photoshoot and she goes straight to skank. Honestly, I think that’s her best bet anyway. Going straight to skank is always your best bet when your career is tanking. I actually just spoke of this concept the other day in my Brooke Hogan blog post. I wonder what Harriet is going to think when she discovers that her cute little hat model is also being photographed with her boobs hanging out. I mean what will the customers think? You think they’re still going to buy a car seat neck pillow or a flying pig hat that claps when you pull the string from “failure model chick” now that they know her troubled past? Sales will likely plummet. Could this be the end of the Harriet Carter catalog? Da-da-duuuuuun!