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Teen Mom 2: Leah is NOT Playing Around With Those Time-Outs, Y’all!

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Jenelle – Things continue to go well for Jenelle and by that I, of course, mean her hair is brushed and she’s looking good.  I have no clue what’s going on with custody agreements, but if you look good what else is there really to worry about in life? Am I right or am I right?  Either way, Jenelle has around 3/4ths of the her kids with her right now (I’m not great with fractions) and she and David are all out to lunch (literally and figuratively) for the day, which is a nice change of pace from living in squalor. Jace really wants to play on one of his electronics, but Jenelle thinks it’s best if they all just sit and talk because it’s “family time.”  Jace looks like he has no idea what any of those words mean and that made me sad.  It also made me hungry so I just grabbed some popcorn.  It’s the one that is sweet and salty and just might be laced with crack because I can pretty much eat a whole bag.

Anyway, “family time” is short lived because Jenelle is on her phone chit-chatting with Nathan since he’s texting her about how she does or doesn’t discipline Kaiser.  Nathan seems to think that Kaiser gets to do whatever he wants whenever he wants and, well, Jenelle actually doesn’t disagree.  David thinks everything is fine and I’m left wondering if I have any more of that popcorn left.  Spoiler Alert:  I pulled the almost empty bag out of the trash and went in for round 2.  I’m kidding.  It was round three.  Moving right along…we learn via Jenelle that Nathan is being really nice to her all of a sudden because he broke up with his girlfriend (you know, the one who was dressed up like a no-nonsense 90’s business woman/bank teller from the court case a few weeks back) and Big J seems to think Nathan thinks he has another chance with her.  I mean, I won’t lie when I say that I wouldn’t hate a little bit of a love triangle thrown into this giant overall mess.  In other good news, Jace seemed to know it was Nathan texting Jenelle again because he appeared to have read his name off her phone.  Place another check in the “win” column because I think Jace just might be able to read.  Not that I thought he couldn’t but, to be honest, I just figured it would be tough for him to learn due to his situation.  Oh, and by “his situation” I’m referring to assuming Barb just downs a couple of glasses of red wine and then screams the alphabet at him until she passes out in her Snuggie.

Later Jenelle isn’t feeling too well so she sends David to go and ship off Jace to Barb and do a cross-pick-up by grabbing Kaiser from Nathan.  Mind you, this all took place at the same time at the same location.  It was like watching hostages being released from the Middle East.  Nathan basically punted Kaiser over to David and then David spiked Jace over to Barb and everyone sped off to their respective homes.  David was asking Kaiser if he missed him and I finally realized that David just had to do all this crap-work for a car full of kids who aren’t actually his.  So either he’s a decent guy or he’s really doing whatever it takes to stay on this show.  Either way I’m giving him a virtual high-five and I’m going to dig through my trash one more time for extra popcorn.  I really should just put it back in the cabinet.

It’s time to film some scenes with Nathan so it only makes sense they do so on the puffy leather couches.   Per usual, these are my favorite couches of “the poors” and hope they never go out of style.  Apparently there are rumors on the streets of North Carolina where people are telling Jenelle that Nathan is telling people that he’s probably going to eventually get back together with her.  Welp, David doesn’t like that so he texts Nathan telling him to stop and Nathan somehow texts him back stating that he thinks there could be a 1% chance they’ll get back together, but will explain it to him if David takes him for a beer.  So I guess Nathan is just willing to date anyone at this point.  I say good for him.  It’s even more of a storyline than we could ever imagine.

In the end, Jenelle and David drop off Kaiser to Nathan’s mom because they think Nathan is too scared to see them.  Nathan’s mom ends up telling Jenelle that they watched Kaiser last week so that he could go out at night.  Honestly, I don’t care.  What I do care about is why Nathan isn’t trying to date Barb.  Can you imagine?!

Leah – Well y’all Leah really does have her hands full again this episode.  I’m really impressed she isn’t the mess she used to be, but I have to be honest in stating that it’s not as fun to watch.   I guess that’s just life, right?  I don’t know.  What I do know is that it’s the girls first day of 1st grade and both girls had to take different busses to school and the one daughter (I think her name is Ali Larter) said some girl on her bus told some other girl to shut her pie hole. Leah advised her to stay away from girls like that.  I wonder if she also tells her to stay away from girls who fall asleep mid-phone call when they’re filming Teen Mom 2: Electric Boogaloo.  One may never know.

Meanwhile, the newest girl is spittin and frettin’ in the backseat and Leah is telling them not to spill any of their food in the car or trash it.  Well, what do ya know because the newest girl smears yogurt all over the place and Leah is less than pleased.  She told her that she’s going to be in “time out” for 3 minutes and 30 seconds and then when she gets home we’re all forced to watch that.  So, basically, that sucked.   It was like having to look at that kid in church who was freaking the F out and their parents wouldn’t do anything to calm them down and you suddenly realized that maybe Jesus didn’t have it so bad.  Too soon?  Anyway, “time outs” are the worst.  I’m giving myself one right now.

Later, Leah has to bring Ali Laquisha to go see Dr. Sao and he thinks she’s getting strong from the waist up and maybe even in her legs, so that’s great.  I kinda like Dr. Sao, but then at the same time I hate when he’s all like, “But she can still get way worse.”  Womp womp.  He then recommends to Leah that she get her other daughter tested for the same gene as Ali Laquisha has and Leah looks like she’s ready to just leave everyone there and start a new life on her own.  If she does (and I’m saying if) she should totally bring Chasity with her because, well, they’re basically the Part II to Thelma and Louise we’ve all been waiting for.

In the end, they call Corey to tell him how the doctor appointment went and he basically said he knew she was going to “get better.”  Um, ok.  I don’t think that’s how any of this works, but kudos for thinking optimistically.  Oh, and one of the girls almost killed the newest girl when she ran by her on the swing set.  We’ve all be there.

Kail – Legit nothing happened.  Issac went to first grade and Kail has to take night classes so she asked Jo to watch Issac those nights for a couple of hours, which he was fine with.  Vee, on the other hand, thinks that Jo should have a more formal custody agreement and make sure her own daughter doesn’t get neglected and Jo is just looking around like, “Bitches be crazy.”  He talks to Kail about it and she’s like “Uh, why?” and then Jo is like, “Yeah exactly” and I just hope they get back together.  Legit that’s all that happened so, well, free pass this week.

Chelsea – Played with a balloon-like penis.

Oh, PS…Did you know Debra (Debz) from Teen Mom OG has a rap song and video out?  Oh hell yes! It debuted last night. Check out my recap of that mess by clicking the image below:

DebzOG Music Video Rap 2017 - Teen Mom Debra Danielson Rapping Lyrics Farrah