When Does The Hills Season 4 Begin?

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Ah this is a question that I am emailed time and time again. Actually it’s a trick question, because it’s not technically season 4, but a continuation of season 3. Regardless, this crap is starting up on March 24th, the day after Easter. Basically, I see it as a gift from my Jesus to me.

Anyway, I couldn’t find the up-to-date commercial from the other night. Do you think I’m above recapping a commercial though? Well, I’m not. So below are my thoughts on the next season of The Hills based on the most recent commercial:

  • Paris can only mean two things: Bad fake-French accents and lots of berets worn by Lauren and Whitney and the first scene does not disappoint!
  • Brody apparently has a new rumored girlfriend and Whitney is there to give Lauren words of wisdom that can also, ironically, be found on 9 out of 10 inspirational Hallmark coffee mugs.
  • The French dude taking Lauren to the Eiffel Tower says “it’s very very big” and Lauren giggles. Whore.
  • Whitney says she’s ready to leave Teen Vouge, which means it will be the saddest scene of the entire 3-years for me. How does one say goodbye to Lisa Loveless? I will never say goodbye to her. I will always keep her in my heart and every time I see an old wet mop I’ll think of her. Spring cleaning will, of course, be a tough time for me.
  • 4 words: Justin Bobby. Yup, he’s back and with a haircut. I hope for the sake of my other site (http://www.justinbobby.com/) that he is back for good and seeing Audrina and her teeth wearing a helmet is always a bonus.
  • Heidi and snow don’t mix well, but it’s better than seeing her frolicking on the beach and chasing seagulls. Heidi tells Steve Sanders that when they get back she wants him to move out. Who will get to keep the arcade games? Where will Steve Sanders sit and read in each episode? Say it ain’t so!
  • Awesome! Sandy Sanders (Steve Sanders sister) is back this season and has enrolled her Emily Valentine ass into the same fashion school as Lauren. I believe Lauren is a 5th semester Freshman at this point.
  • Audrina’s teeth befriend Heidi even though Lauren doesn’t want her in the apartment. Brilliant. I can’t wait for a fight on the couch between Lauren and Heidi that they seem to have every season.
  • Sandy Sanders and Lauren are becoming friends, or so it seems, and Steve Sanders is not happy with this even though he doesn’t show facial expressions….I can tell.
  • This was all such a tease.

Bring on Season 3 Part II now! March 24th will not get the best of me!