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Why Good Morning, Hills Skanks!

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When I came across these photos (not literally) I figured it was m civic duty to post them, and not because I used to drive a Honda Civic. Everybody’s favorite reality skanks were asked by People Magazine to take pictures of themselves fresh out of bed first thing in the morning. This otta be good and by “good” I really mean “mind numbing.” Sweet, I’m in!

Lauren Cockring said she sits in her sink whilst putting on her makeup and that’s why she knows her eyes so well. She uses some kind of coverup for under her eyes, which apparently doesn’t work too well as her eyes have more lines under them than a subway map. Nice try Lauren. Although I give you a B+ for sitting in your sink.
Audrina Patridge loves to wake up without any makeup on because her skin can breathe. I give her a C- because I fell asleep while reading her quote.
Whitney “Oh Face” Port tells us that once she opens her eyes, she’s up. No really she said that. Whitney eats granola, yogurt, and coffee for breakfast. Wow. Me and Whitney are so much alike with our breakfast habits, but instead of granola, yogurt, and coffee I have pancakes, more pancakes, and coffee. It’s like destiny. I give Whitney an A because she’s pictured with a toothbrush in her mouth and that’s good enough for me.
Finally, we have Heidi Montard. Heidi surprisingly takes a shower at night and washes her face. She then wakes up with “whatever” hair. I automatically give Heidi an A+ because I truly believe that Heidi wakes up looking like this….like she was just railed by a football team and left for dead. Trust me, the thought of waking up next to a Heidi Montard without makeup is enough to try to suffocate myself with my own pillow.
How come they didn’t ask Heidi’s horse to photograph itself? Naaaay.